The Life and Times of a Viking Teenager
by Steinnun 'N Katya
Summary: Valentine's Day... most think chocolates, roses, dead sheep, but no. Conflict and mayhem, the forced discovery of one's feelings. HiccupXAstrid, RuffnutXSnotlout, contains OC's.
1. Just Another Day

Hey, y'all, this is Katya. Alright, so there are a couple of things I need to cover before you start reading the story. First off, the reason Hiccup is so strong and aloof around Astrid is just because I wanted to show the dichotomy of how the fact that Hiccup lost his leg made him weaker, but the experience and triumph of defeating the Red Death made him stronger. Also, I was curious of how this would affect his relationship with Astrid. So, from her inside point of view, she's very girly and in love with him. Excuse that.

Also, we made lines between extreme paragraphs (I don't know what you call them) but they didn't appear, so it might be kinda confusing. We are trying to fix it, but until then, keep that in mind when there is an extreme change in topic.

Wattup, dear readers of this story, this is Steinnun. I'm only here 'cuz Katya needs my laptop to write this story :) And because she is NOT a homing pigeon and does not know her way around FanFiction. I am her guide. Her randomly awesome, gorgeous, fun, hawt, light in the dark. XP Yeah, so she couldn't do any of this crap without me. And this is her telling me to say all of this stuff. So don't think I'm conceited. Cuz I'm not. I'm just awesome.

The Life and Times of a Viking Teenager

By Steinnun & Katya

Chapter 1- Just Another Day

The sun spread its delicious golden rays, like butter on toast, across the hilly terrain of the island on which the small village of Berk resided. The scent of summer skipped through the air, and a light sea breeze played music through the trees. Utter peace was the only way to describe the lazy little village on a lovely morning such as that. Nothing could ruin it.

**...**

"Didn' I tell ye not to touch tha' sword?" Gobber's booming voice shouted from the forge.

"I'm sorry!" a young voice cried out, "I didn't know the metal was still soft!"

"Calm down, Gobber, I'll fix it." Astrid breathed in, closing her eyes, savoring the sound of her beloved's voice. As soon as she realized this, however, she immediately snapped open her eyes and glared at Fishlegs, who was standing nearby, staring at her with his mouth open.

She stared at him defensively. "What are you lookin' at?" He just continued to look at her, duped. "Someone is cooking roast beast! I love roast beast! Fine! You figured it out!" She stomped up the path to Gobber's forge, slamming the door behind her, and hoping her little lie worked.

Inside she was met with one pretty astounding sight – Hiccup. Hiccup half-naked. The moment seemed to go on for forever – she consumed every bit of it hungrily, from his calloused hands gripping the hammer above his head, following down his arms, knotted with sinewy muscle, trailing down the strongly defined planes of his chest, down to his hipbones that narrowed into leather pants.

And abruptly the blessed moment, his hands falling hard upon the misshapen sword, was over. Her senses came back to her and she was suddenly once again aware of the outside world – a.k.a, Gobber and her little brother Erikk laughing their asses off.

She glared at them furiously, and one could almost see steam coming out of her ears. Erikk grinned wider, but Gobber simply raised an eyebrow at her and bobbed his head in Hiccup's direction.

"Oh, hey Astrid." Immediately all thought of anger dissipated from her mind. She turned to him, her stomach feeling as if it was being churned to butter. He had come near to her, and she could make out beads of sweat on his brow, his cheeks slightly flushed from the heat and the work.

She looked at him incredulously, thinking of how much of an idiot she would look if he knew how she was really feeling."And what the Hel do you think you're doing?"

An adorably cute look of confusion crossed his face as he leaned back against the door, raising one hand to scratch his head, hooking a finger on the other hand in one of his back belt loops, sagging his pants down a little more, revealing a little more of his flat, but hard, stomach.

She couldn't help it - she had to touch him. She reached out and pushed against his chest, savoring the brief feel of his rough skin and hard muscle beneath. He lost balance and stumbled, but quickly regained it, spreading out his hands in a lost-looking gesture. " Valentine's Day is _tomorrow_ and you think you can just hide in here, avoiding me? Really? Wow, that's really romantic." She pushed past him and outside into the fuzzy summer heat.

She knew he would follow, but that knowledge didn't stop her chest constricting when she heard his heavy steps as he jogged up behind her (still shirtless.) His arms encircling her waste, however, were completely unexpected. Nor was his sudden whisper in her ear, "Babe, I've been planning for our special day for three months. Everything's set up."

She relaxed into the sanctuary of his bare body, and before she knew what was happening he had scooped her up into his arms. Immediate concern laced itself into her mind as he stumbled on the first step."Hiccup, I-"

"I'm fine." He said. His voice was rough, hard, strong. He took off at a jog, his metal brace squeaking at every other step.

"I think you need to oil that thing." Astrid said, subconsciously adding a subtle sleekness to her voice.

"Oh really?" Hiccup glanced down at her, an amused smirk on his face, emphasizing his high cheekbones. "And what does that mean?"

At risk of an extreme turn on, she had to disengage from his harmless flirting. She turned her head away from his intense green gaze, which made personal feelings blossom up from somewhere deep inside of her, something that would be completely sinful outside of a bedroom.

"Heeeeyy, look at the little lovebirds. Don't give me that look, we all know what went on last night. You could hear those ones all the way across the village." Ruffnut's sarcastic voice could be heard from a nearby doorway.

"Dude, that was Gobber." Katya Nightengale stood nearby, looking at Ruffnut as if she was an idiot. "I mean, seriously. Only he can squeeze himself hard enough to sound like two grown men having sex."

"Wait, so that wasn't his wife?" Ruffnut looked extremely confused.

"Guys! Seriously! For once can we walk past you without hearing some sick comments? Nothing's happened between us!" Hiccup said, setting Astrid down on her feet.

"Gobber masturbates?" Astrid asked, looking at them with interest.

"In front of the mirror." Katya confirmed, nodding solemnly.

"How would you know?" Ruffnut asked, a playful glint in her eyes.

Katya shrugged and said, completely honest, "I always did like older guys."

"Ewwwww, I could've gone my whole life without knowing that." Hiccup said, looking slightly sick.

"C'mon, let's go." Astrid said, grabbing his hand. "I'll talk to you later, guys. And no flirting with Hiccup's dad! That was just wrong." Astrid then dragged Hiccup away, who now had started to gag.

Katya looked over at Ruffnut, confused."But… I've never even talked to Hiccup's dad."

And they both burst out laughing.

**...**

Steinnun stormed through the village, furious. She had had a rotten morning. Full-grown Vikings flinched at the audible darkness around her. Her anger was palpable – you could feel it in the air from three yards away.

Earlier that morning, she had discovered that Mikael (that screwball!) had kissed Rinda (that dirty ho!) and she was, to say the least, . Mikael had been hers, off-limits. Sure, they had broken up two weeks before, but it was a trial break-up. She wanted to see what his reaction would be.

Okay, so maybe it hadn't been a trial break-up. But she loved him. And she wanted him back. She loved him. They had been together for five years! Five friggin years. But, whatever. She'd get over him. She had to. He was with Rinda now. That bitch.

"Hey, Steinnun. You okay there, bud?"

She spun around at glared at him- yes, him. Mikael.

"What do you want?" Her voice was the epitome of hostility.

His longish blonde hair whipped across his green-blue eyes as he flinched."Hey, I'm just here to help. We're friends." He reached out his hands and grabbed hers, steadying their angry shuddering.

She shivered as their skin connected, and sparks flew. Without her allowing them to, tears flooded her eyes."No we aren't! You gave up any say in my life as soon as you left." She turned and ran, leaving him standing there, stunned.

Well, she thought as she sprinted, At least I made him feel bad.

**...**

A couple of minutes later found Steinnun crying on the beach. Her small body curled over in the fetal position, her brown-red hair covering her tan, bright face and her usually lively brown eyes. Today they looked dead. She was going over every bit of Mikael in her mind. When he had been hers. His bleach blonde hair that always fell in his face, his blue-green eyes that sparkled like the sea on a sunny day. His overly skinny body, and all of the times she had pressured him to eat more. His strong arms, and his legs that could carry him for miles. All of him in his spindly height, making her feel completely surround when they embraced. The feel of his full lips against hers... She shuddered, and more tears burst from her eyes. She knew that she would be stuck there all day. Crying.

**...**

Snotlout Jorgensen was never a very... nice person. Alright, he was flat-out gross. Digging dirt out of his toenails with a knife at the dinner table, picking his nose and wiping it on Fireworm's head, and a kingdom of baboons could find more than enough bugs for dinner in his hair... hair not only on his head, too. But, hey, he had grown up around a bunch of Vikings. He was one. It was classic, like peanut butter and jelly, sun and sky, moon and stars, Viking and... gross. He was not only calloused on the outside, but on the inside, too. He was a full on, through and through, man. Viking man. So, you wouldn't have expected him to start dancing (yes, dancing) when he heard the "sweetest voice in the universe" singing.

"Pretty gurl swag, I got that pretty gurl swag." It wasn't a song he recognized, not like usual Viking songs, and it wasn't a voice he recognized either. No one in the village had a voice like that- full of life, with a range from bass to soprano, sweet like honey and sugar, but with a classical tang, one that added a unique timbre to it. It was, bottom line, gorgeous.

Snotlout skipped through the woods he had been exploring (before he had heard The Voice,) doing pirouettes and leaping through the air, pointing his toes and everything. One could almost envision a sparkly pink tutu on him. As he kept on going, still dancing and following the voice, he got a cramp in his foot and had to limp the rest of the way, only being able to do what he called the "Irish Leprechaun Kick" every couple of minutes. Soon he came to a clearing he recognized, where a waterfall was.

To his everlasting surprise, it was Ruffnut who was under the waterfall. She was wearing on of those leather string "bikinis" that the girls had taken to wearing while getting in the water. She was standing knee-deep in water, turned to the side, so she didn't see him immediately. She was ringing out her hair, which for once was out of its braid and framing her face, emphasizing the delicate features she had. It was to her waist, which was small, yet flared. She had a flat stomach, with baby abs. And, although Snotlout denied it afterwards, an amazing ass. Her "bikini" emphasized every good thing about her... lady lumps.

Of course, then, she decided to notice him. She seized in her singing and spun to completely face him, taking a defensive stance while slightly covering herself up."What are you doing here?" She asked in that husky, deep, man voice that everyone had always ridiculed.

Snotlout was speechless."I-, I mean, you- and then it was... wow."

She smirked at him and let her hands fall, placing them on her petite waste."Is that a wow at my voice or my bod?" She slightly sung it, making her voice once again musical and perfect.

"Both... Wow." He leaned against a rock, just staring."Holy crap. Dude, you're like... hot."

She smirked and crossed her arms. "Yup. You likey?"

He nodded eagerly. "Oh, yes."

"Well too bad." Her voice was husky again, and she stepped out of the water and pull on a long, bulky tunic."I'll see you later, Snotlout." She walked past him, swaying her hips slightly, passing quite close by him, then, after about seven steps, turned her head slightly to look back at his stunned face.


	2. Jerkholes

Chapter 2-

Ruffnut's heart felt like it had been laid out on an anvil and was being beat- it felt like it was about to burst out of her chest. As soon as she was out of Snotlout's sight, she hurried through the woods, running as fast as she could. She hated herself. Inside, she knew she was a wicked temptress... And yet, it felt kinda good. Save for the fact that Snotlout (curse him!) was a thickheaded jerkhole. Why can't he have ever looked at me when I was just... me? Why did I have to do this to myself to get him to think of me a possible bedpartner? Curse him!

She went into the fields, among the sheep, where she always felt calmer. She walked among them, letting the sun slowly dry her hair, and her now wet clothes. She sat down on a rock that jutted out of the calm green, and a couple of sheep gathered around her."Why can't he just love me for me? I mean, I'm always so gruff, so aloof, but so is he. And yet- I still love him. Why can't he love me when I am as I am, as I want to be? Sure, when I'm practically nude, he'll lust after me, but not when I'm plain old Ruffnut, who's ruff... with nuts. But still!" She sighed and reached down to pat a sheep."At least I know you guys will always listen to me." It stared up at her stupidly, not comprehending, but there was love in it's eyes. Another sheep reached up and tried to take a bite out of her tunic.

"Wheeew, sounds like you've got some real problems, there, sistah." Katya walked into her peripheral vision, soon centering herself in front of Ruffnut."Luckily, Doctah Kay is here- Don't wanna go the hay-way? Go the Kay way." She grinned.

"Um, does that mean you're lez?" Ruffnut asked, looking at her with a horrified look growing on her face.

"No! Of course not! It means, if you're havin' love trubbs, I'm here for ya." She said lightly. "Wait, no, I mean, I am here for you." She looked Ruffnut deeply and empathetically in the eyes.

"Dude, that seriously makes you sound lez."

Katya threw her hands up in the air."I am not a lezbo! I've been having love troubles too, ya know! I'm just an extremely humble person who puts other people's needs in front of her own!"

Ruffnut arched an eyebrow."Dude, are you s'posed to be serving penance for the village council or somethin'?"

Katya sighed and spread her hands out."You got me. I'm supposed to be helping people in hopeless situations. Alright, so here's the thing- you say Snotlout saw you half-naked right? Well, he likes you because that is your true self! If you want to make him really want the real you, you gotta reveal it all. And I mean it allllll. Well, you're welcome. Had fun chattin' with ya!" And before Ruffnut could say anything, Katya skipped away.

Ruffnut sat there for a moment, thinking about it. Maybe Katya was onto something.

…

"Seriously, Astrid, I really don't think we should go near her. She gets scary when she's upset." Hiccup said, caution in his voice as they watched Steinnun cry on the beach from afar.

"Aw, c'mon, Hiccup! She's looks like she's in serious pain." Astrid said, giving him a slightly pouty face. She couldn't manage more than that without seeming girly.

"No, seriously, babe, you have not seen Steinnun on her bad days. It's... well, it's bad." He was starting to sound almost scared.

Astrid laid a comforting hand on his arm."Alright then. How about you go look in the village and find out what you can about why she's like this, okay?" She asked in a quiet, soothing voice.

Hiccup glanced at her playfully."I'm not that much of a baby. But if you insist..." He darted away without looking back.

"And grab your binky while you're there!" Astrid yelled after him before approaching Steinnun confidently."Hey," she said, then sat down next to her."What's up?"

Steinnun glanced at her with a tragic, tearstained face."Mikael kissed Rinda."

Astrid looked extremely confused."But, Rinda is in a relationship with Nal."

Steinnun shrugged and scrubbed at her eyes with the back of her hand."They must've broken up."

Astrid shook her head."Hiccup and I just walked past them making out behind the tavern. And by the way she was messin' with his ass, they most definitely have not broken up yet."

Steinnun's strange light returned to her chocolate brown eyes."I gotta go tell Mikael!" She jumped up and took off at a run.

…

Hiccup jogged into the village, attracting the glances of many young villagettes, even though now he wore a tunic, even if it was extremely tight. He slowed down and shot a pretty young lass a small smile, then flinched, expecting a smack from Astrid, who wasn't there. He slowly stood up straighter, realizing he wasn't as trapped as he had felt the past weeks.

He strode over to the girl.

"Hey." She said, lowering her eyelids a bit in a very strange way.

I wonder if she has a twitch or something. He shook the thought away."Hey. Do you know what's up with Steinnun this morning?"

She trailed her eyes down his body, making him feel oddly uncomfortable. He wished Astrid was there to take the other girl inside for a little "talk." She smirked slightly as his estranged look. "Yeah, she was talking to Mikael and then she just flipped. It was hilarious!"

"Right, thanks. Do you know where he is right now?"

She shrugged."I saw him heading towards the river. He looked depressed."

"Thank you. I'll talk to you later."

"I'm lookin' forward to it." She pursed her lips a bit, curling them into a half smile.

Hiccup shuddered, then hurried away. There was no way he would ever break up with Astrid.

…

Steinnun ran through the village, her hair streaming behind her, the setting sun making it seem to have a red-gold light of its own. Her feet beat against the ground unevenly, to a completely different song than her heart.

She ran, seemingly forever, yet she could not find him.

Finally, she sun had set, and she returned home.

…

In the meantime, Hiccup had found Mikael. He had been sitting by the river just outside of the village, violently tossing rocks into the water.

He stood behind him for a moment."Hey, bro."

Mikael didn't turn around."Hey." He said huskily.

"Okay, so, what's all this drama about? Are you pissed cuz I've got the nicest bod now or somethin'?" Hiccup laughed to lighten the statement.

Mikael snorted."Very funny. I give that place to Fishlegs." He paused."Okay, sorry, that was kinda mean."

Hiccup hiccupped."Dammit. I've had the bubbles all day dude. Maybe I was named this for a reason." He sat down on a rock next to Mikael."Seriously, though, what's up with you and Steinnun?"

Mikael's face hardened."I don't know. I'm with Rinda now. I guess Steinnun found out, and she flipped. I still love her, man. I don't know. She just… things were messed up between us. She kept accusing me of cheating on her. I dunno. But I never did.. ya know?"

"Ummm…. Not really… Well, maybe you two should talk about it, work it out. That's what Astrid and I do when we're fighting. I get her a rose, some chocolates, kill a sheep, romantic crap like that. It fixes everything."

Mikael laughed coldly."Rinda would kill me. She's so controlling. I didn't really want to be with her, anyway. I just heard some stories about her… I guess she's the best in the village. You know… Never mind. Anyway, I'll talk to you later. I'm going on a hunt for the day tomorrow, and we gotta get ready. Later, man."

He hopped up and walked away into the sunset.

…

Morning. Otherwise known as, the worst part of the day. Of life. At least, it was in Katya's point of view. She hated the morning more than a grown Viking hates baths. Yeah. It was that intense. She had a room with a huge window facing the east, meaning, as soon as the sun came up, the first thing it did was blare into her room and scream "WAKE UP!" Also, in the morning, Katya felt weak, as if she couldn't move, and she hated that.

She had stayed up for most of the night, writing apology letters to all of the farmers she had "unfairly abused." The stupid village council. It wasn't her fault that she had sleepwalked (in the middle of the day) out into their fields, hopped on a dragon, burned their fences, and herded all of the cows from three farms into the Great Hall, leading the charge and screaming "THE VILLAGE IS MINE! KNEEL, FOOLS!" Anyway, so, that morning, she was especially grouchy when sunlight skipped into her room and started jumping on her eyes.

And so, she finally came to the conclusion to get some curtains. Katya had always been a procrastinator, and she never had enough time to do such silly things such as cutting cloth. Or, she made it so she didn't have time. She hated doing homebody work. So, she finally decided to plot it out onto paper. A plan.

She recited what she was going to do over and over in her head. She got sidetracked easily, so she had her default setting for what to say if anyone talked to her.

As she came downstairs she heard a strangled gasp from her mother."Why the Hel are you dressed like that?"

Katya looked blankly down a the tiny dress from her childhood, which hardly covered her butt, showing off her legs, and emphasizing her breasts. Stay on track, she thought to herself. Default. "I'm going manhunting."

A look of understanding crossed her mom's face."Ahh. Well, have fun. Be home by morning so your dad doesn't find out. Oh, and don't take candy from strangers."

Katya walked out of her house, planning to go down the street a bit, and then put her plan in action. But she was paused."Oh, hey Katya. What are you doing?" Fishlegs said.

Katya shrugged."Going manhunting." And she walked away.

Finally, she reached the perfect place. The center of the village. And, taking a deep breath, she started.

"EEEEEEEEEKKKK!" And she screamed the girliest, loudest, annoyingest scream she had ever screamed.

Immediately feet came pounding from behind her. She turned around and into whoever was closest, cuddling into the warmth of their broad chest. "Ohh," she sobbed."It's so terrible." To her surprise, arms didn't encircle her. In fact, the person stayed awkwardly away from her. She pulled away, looking up at the tall figure curiously.

To her everlasting shame, it was her ex-boyfriend."Mar?" She asked incredulously. Then, with a huff, she turned away, crossing her arms."Never mind. I don't want help from you." Her face was an unnatural shade of red.

"Why are you dressed like that?" He asked incredulously.

"I was going manhu- I mean, all of my clothes caught on fire and I don't have anything to make new clothes out of, so now I have to wear this." By now a sizable audience had gathered from her scream, to witness her embarrassment.

"Righttt... Well, I've got some wool at home, if you want it." He looked at her completely honest, not lusting at her condition or trying to take advantage of it. She felt a small fluttering in her chest, but she immediately shut it down. She would not allow herself to be attracted to him.

She pushed past him roughly."Never mind. I'll just find somewhere else to get it." Everyone around them just stared at her. Uncomfortably, she turned around."On second thought, let's go." She grabbed his hand (immediately making butterflies rise in her stomach and her feet and hands break out into sweat) and pulled him through the crowd, violently pushing anyone who wasn't fast enough to get out of the way.

…

A little bit later found them in the empty kitchen of his largish cottage."Wow. That was embarrassing." She leaned against his familiar counter, pressing her hand up against her flaming (with embarrassment) forehead. "I do believe that's the biggest fool I've made myself in a long time." She thought about it for a second."Nope, biggest fool I've ever made. Never mind."

"Hey, it's okay." Mar stood behind her, and even though she couldn't see him, she could imagine his stance, leaning back on his heels with his hands spread out, his curly hair slightly in his hazel eyes."It wasn't that bad. Here, I'll fix it for you. I'll be right back." He walked outside, pulling out some flint and steel.

A second later, Katya heard people shouting and pounding feet. She put her hands over her eyes and willed herself to stay inside, however much she wanted to go out and see what was going on. A little while later, the door opened, and she could hear Mar apologizing and thanking people profusely as he backed inside, finally shutting the door on people laughing in a relieved way.

Katya opened her eyes and rushed over to him." What happened? What did you do?" She asked beggingly.

He shrugged."Nothin'. I just promise you that they won't be talking about your incident at all. Hang on a second, I'll be right back." As he pounded his way upstairs, she saw that a huge hole was gaping at the back of his pants, singed at the edges. No way, she thought. There is no way he set his own pants on fire... Dammit. I owe him won now. She couldn't believe he had done that for her.

A couple of minutes later he came downstairs with a new pair of pants on and something dark and wooly in his hands."Here." He said."This is one of my sister's dresses. It's too big for her, but you'll probably fit into it."

Crap, Katya thought. Now I can't make curtains. This was a huge waste of time. Still, a gift from Mar? She just couldn't give it up. It would be... rude. "Thanks." she said with a relieved smile."Do you have anywhere I can change?"

"Sure. Just down that hall to the left." They stood there for a moment, just staring at each other.

"Ummm... right. I'll go do that... Now..." She slowly slinked away, taking the awkwardness with her.

She knew the house like the back of her hand- it was where she had spent most of her childhood. She didn't know why she had asked. She just did. But she knew which room he had directed her to. She gently pushed at the half-open door, and it swung wide. His room.

She stepped in cautiously, closing the door behind her, and looked around. Immediately, she was bombarded with a wave of reminiscence. She felt like a child again- the smell was the same, the lighting was the same, there was even a pair of old jeans hanging over a chair, as they always had. As she looked around, she could see herself, Mar, and his little sister Vanna running around, laughing, playing. Cuddling on the window seat and watching the moon, playing hide and seek and tag. She saw all of it. No, she remembered all of it. And it was overwhelming. She dropped the dress and ran out of the room, past Mar who was coming down the hall, through the kitchen, and out onto the dirt road. She ran and ran, and as she went, she could see another version of herself, beside her. Her childhood self, when she had been had been happy, when things between her and Mar hadn't been awkward. She saw her and Vanna running from him alongside the roads, getting under the feet of the older villagers. She closed her eyes and just ran, hoping her feet took her someplace nice, unfamiliar. Unfortunately, they took her straight into a hole. Which was not unfamiliar. She had twisted her ankle in it many times. It was right outside her house. She limped back inside, not stopping for a washcloth, and collapsed on the stairs, crying.

…

All week Astrid had felt strange, as if something was out of place, missing. Well, as she walked down the street right after Mar's flaming incident, she figured it out.

She had been wondering about how he had caught fire. Well, maybe it was a stove. Or a torch, but why would he need that in the morning? It could've been his dragon. And then it hit her. The dragons! She had not seen one for the past day and a half. And in Berk, that was a big deal.

She ran up to Stoick, who was right there."Sir!" She yelled."The dragons! They're gone!"

Stoick looked at her with an amused look on his face."Don't be silly, Astrid, I just saw Snotlout ride past on his Monstrous Nightmare, Fireworm." Then he walked away, shaking his head and grumbling to himself.

…

Hiccup clumsily walked down the hall of his house, missing Toothless. He felt as if he had sent the dragons away too early, and maybe Astrid would figure out what he was up to. Everyone in the village was in on it, of course, except for the women.

He smiled to himself, faithful that everything would turn out fine. After all, Valentine's Day was only a day away. What could go wrong?

He walked outside and was immediately attacked. By girls. A ridiculous amount of them. They petted him, and patted him, cooing over his adorable...ness."Hey, Hiccup." "How you doin'?" "Wanna come over to my place tomorrow?" "I heard you had a fling with Vanna."

"Ladies, ladies!" He bellowed, holding out his hands, and backing his way out of the crowd of say, fifteen girls."What is this about?"

One of them giggled and called out."Don't act like you don't know. We all know about your date with Vanna. She's been telling everyone about it."

"Can I be next?" One of them purred, reaching out to touch his arm. Immediately they all sprang forward. He yelped and wriggled his way out of their surprisingly strong arms, running down the street.

And right into Astrid."Astrid! Thank goodness!" He hugged her tightly, though he was kind of on his knees."These, girls, they just, and then, they said, oh my gosh. It's terrible. Fix it, babe. Please."

She kicked his head away and loomed above him, her hands on her hips, her eyes shining with fury and tears."What is this about, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III?" she asked quietly."What is this rumor going around the village about you and Vanna?"

"I-" he began, but she interrupted him.

"Is this true?" Her voice was a little bit louder this time.

"I do-"

"I asked... IS THIS TRUE?" she screamed at him.

He started to stand up."I've been tryi-" She kicked him in the face, sending him sprawling on the ground. She looked up and saw a cloud of dust, signifying the arrival of the storming girls.

"You disgust me." She whispered, then turned away, leaving him to the mercy of the village women. But not before he caught a sight of the tears already spilling from her eyes.

…

Steinnun was looking for Mikael when she found Hiccup. Actually, it wasn't Hiccup she found. He was kind of buried under a pile of wimpy village wimps."Oi! Back it up, girls! You're suffocating him!" She kinda just figured it was Hiccup under there. She began pulling girls off and pushing them away, kicking and biting until she made her way to the two cowering figures on the ground.

To her surprise, it wasn't only Hiccup, but Mikael too. Apparently he had gone to Hiccup's rescue, but only had gotten sucked into the whirlpool too. She helped Hiccup up first, but left Mikael to himself."Run." She said, covering it up with a cough. The girls had already slowly started to circle them again.

Hiccup nodded, then took off, getting away. The girls didn't pursue. They just stood there, staring at Steinnun. Steinnun, feeling awkward, had to say something."Well? What kind of excuse do you have for yourselves?" She firmly planted her fists onto her hips.

They stared back, as one, exasperated."You really don't know?" Steinnun shook her head."Well," the girl continued slowly."Hiccup cheated on Astrid with Vanna, which means he'll hook up with any of us. After all, his standards are pretty low if he went with Vanna." She looked around at the other girls, who nodded and murmured in agreement.

"Whatever." Steinnun said. "Do you guys really believe that? Hiccup is head over heels for Astrid, and he would never cheat on her. If not because he loves her, then because she'd kick his ass. You guys are idiots."

Steinnun pushed her way out of the circle of girls, then started down the street briskly.

"Hey!" Mikael scrambled up off the ground and hurried after her."Don't leave me here with them!"

Steinnun just kept walking.

"Seriously! Where are you going anyway?" He caught up to her, jogging leanly beside her to keep up with her hurried walk.

"I'm going to go find Astrid." She said smoothly."I can deal with you later."


End file.
